AldenLeague: Week 6, and State of the League Update!
It's Week 6, guys and Synrods! Approaching the half-way point of the regular season means the return of Big Ben, Andy's almost ready to stop being called "So Gay I Make Synrod Uncomfortable" and resume his normal team name (which I'll have to get all out of my system today), and we're on the verge of ending the 2nd (yes, 2nd) game of the Eliminator on the message board already! (Corey = Douchebag)So what have we learned? We've learned that this season is about as confusing as how Hartman got into law school. As of this writing, the #3 player in total fantasy points scored (Kyle Orton, Stigs) was a 6th round draft pick, the #5 scorer (Shaun Hill, The Skyns) was undrafted, the #1 RB (Arian Foster, C-Men) fell to the 5th round, and Puzan hasn't made a single comment about Mexicans since Draft Day. Weird.
Tied at the top of the league with identical 4-1 records are C-Men and Fireseed, who (unironically?) also had the 1st and 2nd picks of the Draft. Bringing up the rear (see attached photo) is CheektoWojo, who at 0-5 are looking for a Most Murderous-like turnaround to their season to clinch a league record-tying 6th consecutive playoff berth (in 2009, Most Murderous started 7-0, then went 0-6 to end the regular season, then swept through the playoffs to win Fantasy Bowl X). As for the points race, what was an almost unbelievably close competition a week ago (with 5 teams within 20 points of each other) has broken open a bit. So Gay I Make Synrod Uncomfortable (geez Andy, that's pretty gay) is holding a 7-point lead over over Stigs (whose team name and lack of helmet show about as much enthusiasm as Hank shows for smart chicks), who is just 5 points himself ahead of C-Men.
Where does that lead us this week?
Well, a few teams are looking for a big win to get back into it. The aforementioned CheektoWojo needs to turn it around pronto: in the tough Sandridge Division, he's 3 games back of the 3rd place team, which is no easy feat to make up, and this week he takes on defending champion Most Murderous in a re-match of multiple Fantasy Bowls. This is a classic match-up that has brought some memorable results. Also needing a big win is league rookie Tecmo All Stars who, at 2-3 are just 2 games back of division leader C-Men, but with a loss in their divisional record and coming in at just 8th in the points race, the tiebreakers aren't looking real friendly. They take on the BountyHunters who are putting up good points despite the lack of an obvious superstar - the team is carrying itself quite evenly. Fireseed vs. Stigs pits 2 of the league's top teams against each other, each team in the top 4 of points scored and among the league leaders record-wise. Fireseed is looking forward to the return of suspended QB Ben Roethlisberger, who has led to the team starting 4 different QBs in the 5 weeks that Big Ben has been out (including his bye last week). Elsewhere, The Skyns and Syn City renew their rivalry with each team missing a top player to the bye week (Cedric Benson - Syn City and Steve Smith - The Skyns). The Ice Cold Bruschi's (who lost some RB value when Marshawn Lynch was traded to the Seahawks and could potentially steal points from Justin Forsett) take on the C-Men (who forfeit the championship round of Eliminator Game 1 - real good, Corey, real good. We were biting this morning, we were biting this morning). Finally, the Boys of Summer are riding a 2-game winning streak into this week's matchup against Andy, who is So Gay that he Makes Synrod Uncomfortable.
Which leads me to the next question. How gay would one have to be to make Synrod uncomfortable? Anderson Cooper gay? Probably not - I think Synrod would be OK with that, as he doesn't pose any threat to topping Synrod's homosexuality. Big Gay Al gay? We're getting there. I'd like to hear your suggestions on the message board.
Best of luck to all this week, and may your inner peace flow like urine from a fire hydrant.
